You Ignited The Flame of Passion

Hello world.

I was overwhelmed by dark times which made me a little confused and heavy to tell which made me to remember about the depression that I've been through. It takes months to finish and publishing this story.

The hardest day of my life began when I was in Junior High School where I was bullied. Not only friends in class, but also by teachers, and moreover by families. I got physical and mental action which made me cold person (past). I can socialize in specific gang which makes me secure. Because fear of being bullied. Ex 1st consecutive champion in Elementary School being lazy in Junior High School, have no passion about life, it has big impact. I am very aware that there has been a change in the look on my face which, if described as an emoticon, is like this -_-.

One day I went to a city for a new year holiday as well as a vacation before entering Vocational High School. It still felt empty for me even close and hangout with the (good) family there, but going travel not healing.

And one afternoon, I went to compact disc seller and saw a band that I had heard before and already knew 1 song called In The End. Yes, Linkin Park.

In the mind of buying a Linkin Park is I just wanna rock vibe everyday. Actually slow rock is my genre since I was born but it still suck to hear in that era. And I don't think about suicide. I just confused about the meaning of life. Can my life change at any time? With scream is this depression will go away?

When we got home, as usual bully appeared in the family about our trip. It's not interesting to tell this part because nothing special.

The next day after school I used uncle's room which indeed he had a decent sound system. I closed the door of his room and started play Linkin Park song. There is one song that made me interested in the lyrics called Somewhere I Belong, and unique instruments coupled with Chester's voice that sounded right in my ears made me fall in love with this band.

The next day I had surf on another Linkin Park song and it turned out that this band was quite intense in writing lyrics about life. I am very grateful to Linkin Park for representing our unrest, especially Chester Bennington, who sang it as if in rebellion with this unattractive life.

Long story short afterwards, I became a person who seemed to find my identity again. I imitated Chester's style which made me regain my confidence. Started learning screaming in a self-taught and successful manner. Go to school carrying a guitar while singing, screaming XD until one of the friends was also infected with Linkin Park and we formed a band. Vocational High School classmates witnessed changes of my style, and honestly I was quite popular with women in school. My academic achievements also go up until college. My job was smooth and I was arguably quite ambitious and enthusiastic.

And, at the time Chester Bennington decided to commit suicide on July 20, 2017 which surprised me. I think Chester is at peace with his dark past but it doesn't. After that incident I was a little depressed and realized that it was true that all past events were not really lost. I feel that until now there are still some who say something sensitive. One more year after his death I was again depressed and the anxiety that I felt mentally coupled with the frenzy of my work made me sick (continually fever). The detail what is it I'll tell you in another story/ article. And until now I still try to make peace with myself even though it's a little better but I'm still trying.

For Chester, thank you for being born in this world to shout our unrest until we rise. But in the end, the memories of the past have never disappeared and we must rise again. By all means we must rise from the rest of this mental downturn.

I apologize for not telling everything specifically. It's hard for me to remember all the dark times I've forgotten. There is something I will tell you about in the next article but there is something I buried myself. Hopefully illustrated in the theater of readers.

Cheerio!